Today marked the 5 year anniversary of my dad's passing. I was planning to recall the events and emotions from that terrible day but am finding that I just can't right now. I'm enjoying the ripples of happiness from my last post and can't bring myself to head down that path of sad memories. It's very heavy. Too heavy... But it's never far away in my mind so maybe its a post for another day. For now, I will simply say that I miss him. I miss him so much that sometimes I can't breathe. I long to have him walk into a room and light the whole place up with laughter and happiness again. I long for him to harrass me when I'm procrastinating or have him beg me to scratch his back. I wish we could go golfing together on Father's Day or hang out as a family at my brother's cottage. I wish I could lean my head on his shoulder or hear him yell at my me and my brother for roughhousing. There's just so much to miss. I know he's never far away from my heart but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough.
1 comment:
Nicole,
I can't believe it's been five years myself. I'm personally glad that you chose to feel joy on that day rather than torture yourself with reliving that day. God knows we can not erase it from our minds, but let's face it. It certainly isn't a good memory or one that really is what we want to think about when we think of our dads. I love this blog and especially your post about meeting your pop. I'm kind of jealous, because I haven't allowed myself to think of him as much as i need to our should. You've inspired me though and I want to try to write out all of the things I remember one day soon. He was a lucky daddy to have raised such an amazing little girl. There is no doubt in my mind how incredibly proud he is of you. Keep the stories comiing, I love them and I love you too.
Always Remembering and Missing them,
Lisa Zielinski
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